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Fire:

5:45 AM on August 25, 2024 I became homeless due to someone setting my apartment building on fire.

I got out safely with my cat (thankfully everyone else got out too) but the town I live in was not prepared or capable of helping with such a huge tragedy.

 

Started that morning chaotically in a church for over 8 hours waiting for a solution while our pets were locked in their carriers. I am very thankful to the church for opening their doors so we had somewhere while the city figured things out. But it was over 12 hours before we were assigned places to go for a few days.

Because it was a long weekend coming up the hotels were booked up so I only had the first hotel at the Holiday Inn Express for two days with my cat before they kicked a bunch of us out that had pets stating they had reservations. I panicked, fearing me and my cat would be on the street, and the workers they had on the case didn't show up on time. I managed to book a room with the Quality Inn. I'm glad I did as the workers who came after I had already been kicked out of the room, said they had no solutions and didn't know where to put me or many others.

 

2nd Hotel:

The Quality Inn was extremely friendly towards me and my cat. I'm thankful for that during such a frustrating time. The city assigned workers to each of us from the fire, and there was so much lack of organization and communication, the worker didn't even know I was no longer at the Holiday Inn, or that over 10 people were being kicked out of there. The city ended up paying for my hotel only until September 11, unlike everyone else who got it until September 30. Their reasoning was I had insurance. Literally everyone in my building had to legally have insurance to even live there, so that was just bullshit. I was not treated equally or fairly. Many of us never got the gift cards for food, and none of us got the donated clothes or food. I didn't even know that was a thing (which is so very sweet of the community) until my family had told me.

Eventually they did open a donation centre to let us go once, but we had to arrange it through the assigned workers, and then I wasn't able to go again because I got a new assigned worker and she didn't want to arrange it. Unfortunately the centre closed before I could try again. Many of us still needed those donated clothing, but they closed it because apparently it was costing the city too much to keep it open.

 

We were told depending on the section of the building it would be 6 months or longer before we could go in. I was told 6 months. My first assigned worker told me there would be a program that would give us $1,000 towards shelter if we could find someone willing to rent month to month. When I finally found 1 person willing to do a minimum of 3 months, I couldn't get hold of the worker for over week. I got assigned a new one out of the blue, and by then this worker had said that program was no longer valid. And the person willing to do 3 months changed their minds. So I was again left to fend for myself before my insurance ran out.

 

Day after day I searched for anyone willing to help me and my cat. But no one was willing to rent less than a year. A guy had arranged a viewing knowing I was homeless due to the fire, and had said they would do a minimum of 3 months, only to change their minds after showing me because they said someone else was coming that day and they would rather have a long term person. He said he would let me know the next day ... can you guess what he never did?

 

Entering building:

We were allowed in our building to get important documents for max 2 minutes (they counted). My eyes instantly teared up and burned when I entered. I worse a mask, and walked the dark halls. Black sludge was everywhere. It was really upsetting to see in person. There was no electricity in the building so once I got into my unit it was hard to see what was actually damaged, or where things were. I noticed more of the black gunk mixed with water all over the floor. I didn't know at the time but they said it was soot from the smoke.

I grabbed my only big suitcase, tossed in unopened cat food that I read should be safe, and my laptop so I could do my important motion video conference that was coming up. Then they said time was up. I had to leave, and am extremely glad I grabbed it as that was the last time I was allowed back in the building. Though I do wish I had've grabbed more like my documents for my Small Claims case against the hospital that abused, assaulted, battered, neglected, and had me falsely imprisoned.

Leaving the building I noticed my skin on my face and neck started to burn out of no where. If I hadn't been wearing a long sleeve and pants I feel like other parts would've burned too. The burning lasted hours after exposure to the building even after a shower. I'm not confident in being able to live there any time soon after experiencing that reaction.

 

When I got back to the hotel I had to give the suitcase I brought away (I made sure to tell the guy how it made me react, the intense smell it gave off too and let him decide). He took it so he didn't have to carry his things in garbage bags anymore. The suitcase caused my eyes to tear up and burn again, making me realize there was no way I could keep anything that has some sort of fabric. And at the time, I didn't think about how our building has asbestos, and that would've been floating everywhere in the building. I don't understand why they aren't completely renovating the building to get rid of it completely ... like they should. To me that doesn't seem safe. And I honestly wonder if that's why I started having all those swallowing issues after moving in there, and the thyroid enlargement issues because I haven't had any swallowing issues since being out of the building.

 

Hotel Life:

Hotel life is not a vacation. It was misery.

Day in and day out I was glad to have a roof over my head, but so miserable that I didn't have MY place. I didn't have somewhere I could call home. I lived in uncertainty. Will I find somewhere before my insurance runs out? Should I wait it out in the hotel in case something else comes up? What if me and my cat end up on the street in winter because the city refuses to help whatsoever, and my insurance runs out.

It was hard figuring out meals with a mini fridge that either froze food and made it go bad, or just didn't hold enough to make a proper meal. It didn't have a freezer so I didn't even have more variety until I was able to get a mini portable freezer to hold frozen broccoli and a couple ready made frozen meals. It helped me recover from becoming sick by all the foods I had to eat to get by that my body had a intolerance to. I'm glad they had a microwave there.

 

I absolutely love and adore my cat. She helped me get through day after day. But she also made things hard when it came to sleep, because she decided now was the time to attack my fingers while I slept. And I no longer had a bedroom door that I could shut if she wouldn't stop waking me up so many nights were sleepness nights, between her and the hotel waking me up or the phone. It really brought me down. I would lay in the hotel bed wanting to be in my own bed. Having to live in a hotel really made me realize just how much some food donation places don't quite get what a person with no home or freezer really needs. I appreciated everything, but I didn't even have a can opener in the beginning, so I couldn't even open the cans they gave me.

 

It was always nerve-wracking knowing there was a bunch of strangers with keycards that could walk into your room at any moment, whether you are there or not. So I was always a ball of anxiety worried that they might go in despite the sign and let my cat out. And she was already so stressed out. It made me so upset at how unhappy she was. I tried my best to make her comfortable but everything was out of my hands. I made the hotel bed, and cleaned up so they wouldn't have to come in unnecessarily. Especially after my cat had a bad experience with whatever they used to wash the floors. I thought I was going to lose her that night.

 

Court motion with no internet:

My motion started early, and to my dismay a bunch of things were going wrong that day. The hotel internet wasn't working, my phone wouldn't hold a charge, I was running out of data, and there were so many cases the same day as mine that they didn't get back to me for 6 hours. I kept having to be signed into Zoom, waiting my turn, but I didn't know what would fail first, my phone battery or my data.

Once my case started, I was still stressed and overwhlemed by the fire, and homeless uncertainty situation that I had a hard time. I know how important it is for me to get justice for myself when I know no one else will, or has tried. But it's like this whole situation has made it so I can't focus on what I had learned, or recall it. There's just a overload of too much happening at one time.

I was only given a extention of 4 months, instead of a year due to my extreme situation, because the hospital lawyer wants it wrapped up. They know I'm not a lawyer with connections, and don't know the first thing about finding a medical expert to do a report to say what is blatantly obvious, medical (malpractice) neglect by the hospital happened.

 

The judge admitted they do not know health law, including the Mental Health Act, or Health Care Consent Act, and it's why they need a report to say. It's very frustrating when I added literal pages from both those Acts to prove it, but because my town isn't a big city, and it's Small Claims, they are only versed in family law, or employment situations.

 

I am glad the judge allowed any sort of extension. But I do wish they had taken into consideration that things aren't stable home wise for me, everything is uncertain. But instead I was told if I can't provide a medical expert report that I would need to do a affidavit stating why, and not being able to find a lawyer isn't good enough. Which seemed harsh. I've realized fast the legal system is quite a harsh place, where it's very hard to get actual justice especially against a corporation that has a army of lawyers, and that other professionals in the same field won't go against, and that lawyers don't want to go against.

 

If I have to shout it day and night, until it annoys everyone to the point they are sick of hearing me say the same wrongs the hospital did, I will still shout it. I don't want to be silenced and let them get away with it like they are. I will not let the abuse that happened to me just be another that gets squashed. It affected my life terribly, I will write it, I'll make videos about it, I'll one day sing it. And hope there are people listening who care. And I thank those few who do.

 

I did my very best to fight this fight, and if I can't get a report in, either due to no lawyer, I can't afford it (they can be $5,000-$7,000+), or I can't find a Doctor willing to go and say a hospital was wrong, I want it known that it doesn't mean when they close my case because they say there "isn't enough evidence" (there is), that they weren't in the wrong. They-absolutely-were-wrong. Abuse-happened. Neglect-happened. Assault-and-battery-happened. Holding-me-against-my-will-illegally-happened. It doesn't mean they are not guilty of the abuse they caused towards me, it just means I was another sad tale of a victim that couldn't get justice against someone with much more power than them. And it breaks my heart. Especially to all those before, and after me who are brave enough to try too.

 

Temporary Home:

I found a place willing to do minimum 6 months for a lease in October. I was so glad to have somewhere for me and my cat when I have been told left and right by multiple people that work for the city that they will not help me, and I am not to be treated equal because they "are not there to treat everyone equally."

I moved in and it was a rough start. The cat stairs fell on my cat while I was cleaning up the kitchen and living room and I found her squashed under it. I was so terrified she was dead under it, but thankfully she was alive. It really hurt her, I felt so bad. I noticed a strange pattern that twice now I have moved into a place that has new renovations of some sort, and then she gets badly hurt the first night. My last place where the fire happened when I moved in the movers didn't push the shelf close enough to the wall so she got her head stuck with it tightly around her neck and almost ... it was a extremely bad night. I really hope 3rd move breaks that pattern.

 

I am so happy to have a kitchen and fridge again. It was so awkward my first time cooking because it had been well over a month so it felt like it had been a year since I've used a stove. I'm excited to be able to cook meals again. I can't freeze a bunch of stuff for meal prepping like I use to because I don't have a freezer anymore, so I'm figuring out how to make stuff on a budget knowing I can't freeze say cooked beans and stuff.

My cat was super excited about a actual cat tower! She went to town on that thing. No longer has to make sad attempts on a hotel wall. She loves looking out the window, but she misses not being able to be on a actual balcony outside. I can't help that ... wish I could give her everything and more, but I can't.

 

Bugs:

I was upset (still am) that I found cockroaches in the bottom floor of the building where we have to do coin laundry. There were quite a few. On top of that I had fleas jump on my legs and unfortunately had to get flea stuff for my cat because they got her. She hasn't had fleas in over 4 years. I was not happy. And the vet said you have to spray the whole home for fleas not just treating the cat (which will need to be done every single month since the building itself has fleas).

To my dismay I've had a few cockroach sightings in my unit since reporting the ones in the basement. I don't know if they came from the basement, or if they were leftover from a previous infestation in here. Because the cupboards were covered in cockroach poop,  and cockroach exoskeleton remains. It was so disgusting no amount of clorox made it better. I have a dead cockroach in my light fixture which I will not touch. There's no way they didn't know about the cockroach issue, so I'm upset they didn't inform me even though they charge me way more than others to rent here just because I'm on a lease under a year. My water ran yellow when I first came in. I was told that means no one lived here for a long time. I don't know if that's true or there's something wrong with the water. Because my cat still refuses to drink her fountains even though we have been here for a couple weeks now. A new filter was turned yellow in just 3 days. I'm not sure what to do...

 

No support:

The same city members who refused to help me, turned around and gave me heck for signing a 6 month lease. Saying I shouldn't have because my unit will probably be ready before Christmas. I told them they had told me it would be 6 months, and they did what they like to do, lie and say no they didn't, even though I have paperwork from them literally stating it would be 6 months. I refused to argue pointlessly, so whatever, I did what I had to do to keep me and my cat from being on the street.

 

The sad thing is most of the citizens in my town don't realize how badly we were being treated, and that we weren't getting their donations. They just heard some sweet words like "Assigned workers," or the newest before I signed my lease, "Dresden shelter" not knowing what was really going on. The Dresden place the city was offering was going to be over $1,200 a month for a single room with a mattress and mini fridge and a shared shower and living space with 50 other people. On top of that the mattress and mini fridge were not yours, and there was no way to cook. Besides that $1,200+ a month, the city wanted your insurance to cover the city's $1,000+ half that they were fronting. They didn't want our insurance to cover our half that would come out of our pay, leaving us with maybe $100 after if we were lucky, but for the city, making the total over $2,000 just to be there. It was no at all affordable.

When I told them that, multiple times, to multiple different people, they did-not-care. One worker was rude enough to say "well that's your choice then." I said, "it is not a choice to not be able to afford to go there." But she kept repeating it and hung up. Another city worker told me the reason they need our insurance to pay the city's half is because its taxpayer's money that isn't meant for this emergency, so they need to get the money back.

They really are just a title, "assigned worker" without having any empathy, care, or offering help. When I told them I can't break my lease legally there is no way especially if it's a short amount of time, they didn't care. Said that's my choice then. No...I talked to a lawyer about it, and my options just aren't possible. And this landlord is a company, that had a fit when I was a whole day late of getting my insurance to call me back to get insurance put for the new address before I could even get the keys. Like a big fit that was not my fault.

 

Insurance coverage:

Unforutnately my insurance said they will only cover 3 months. If my unit that had the fire is ready by then, I will have a situation where I will have to pay for 2 separate places I just can't afford because I can't risk losing my rent-geared-to-income place since I can't afford $1,600 monthly here. Even if my unit isn't done my insurance will run out before my 6 months, and again I'll have a situation.

For now I'm very glad to no longer be in a constant homeless state of worry, though I am still stressed. And I won't be able to afford to hire anyone to toss the stuff that got damaged from my other unit. Things are so very ... messy.

It's why I hate the saying, "Everything happens for a reason," like a bus driver had said to me. I straight up said, "No, because a lot of very bad things happened to me in my life that I absolutely did not deserve." Didn't say it rude, just putting out facts. And it's so strange someone is basically saying, "maybe a terrible fire was meant to happen in your life," like ... wtf kind of logic is that? No.

 

Conclusion:

Sorry if this got ranty. Don't expect people to read it, but since it was another big chapter in my life, I thought I would add it here to my blog. I'm really hoping everything works out for me in the end. Maybe I can move somewhere with more opprotunities and I can be genuinely happy.

And something my counselor had told me surprised me when I said I had lost a bunch of things I loved after what the hospital did to me, they said, "take it back!" Me before this fire incident would've said, that's not so simple. Me now, I feel like maybe now I can try once things are a bit settled. The only issue is, I'm honestly not very happy right now (understandable right?), so the things I jotted down previously as what I should release music wise one day, I just don't feel like trying to make a happy-go-lucky song. I'm not in the head space of sing happy things when not so happy things are happening to me. I have to figure out if I just power through it, to get to the next step, or take a different route. The way I want to do my music is unique, I don't think I've seen it done this way, so I do still want to proceed with that.

When I do get there, please excuse my vocals. I haven't sang since 2021 when the hospital abuse took place.

 

Thanks for reading! Please go through your insurance and make sure you're covered adequately, you never know when this might happen.

Happy halloween~